It’s no secret, I’ve been depressed and as part of my treatment I learned very early on that social media triggered me.
No, I was never bullied. Heck, I’ve always had a good life. However, while under the symptoms of depression, I would log online and get massive FOMO (fear of missing out). This caused extreme self loathing. I hated that my body wouldn’t let me interact with the world as I used to, no matter how much I wanted.
It was hard and I never really quit social media for good. I simply retired my online presence. The Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat went untouched. The Facebook, something I did not use all that often before, I used sparingly to connect with university organizations and group assignments.
It was actually one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life. I was obsessed! I would wake up and check my phone. I checked my phone during classes, while I had meals and right before going to bed. It was bad. I was living my life through images and constantly comparing said images to those of my friends, peers and even strangers.
Stepping down from social media for two years definitely taught me to enjoy life in a whole new way. I still used my iPhone, I just didn’t have the apps. All notifications would have to wait until I checked my email during the day. I took pictures and actually printed them out! I know, super old school. Now I have a wall of my favorite memories and it is a constant reminder of what is really important in my life.
I’ve now returned to social media but let me tell you it’s a completely different relationship.
Now, you might be asking yourself… Doesn’t she have a blog? A Twitter? An Instagram? Yes.
I have to clarify this because I fear I might sound a bit hypocritical. This month I embarked on a new journey with Southern Belle in the West. However, it is a complete different experience to using my personal social media. With blogging I found the most wonderful, accepting and supporting community that I never even imagined existed.
I guess that’s the reason for my anonymity. I am not constantly putting pressure on my personal appearance. I am simply embracing who I really am while connecting with individuals who share similar struggles and like-minded people.